The Little Things...

Deployments are tough.

I think that statement stands alone. I don't like to say that they are tougher on a single person during the year when that person is gone, everyone experiences there own ups and downs through out the time period. We all cope and try to get through it in our own different ways. I personally find it difficult when people try to compare or say they understand, when how could they? Besides those who have their significant other ripped away from them, left to raise children, take care of the house, step up and be mom or dad. We are the ones who have to pick up the pieces, explain why they are gone, sleep alone, worry, keep everyone informed. We are the ones who have to be strong when thats our only choice. We cry during the National Anthem, long for our significant other when we see someone in uniform. We are the ones who cheer when one of our friends gets to reconnect with their loved one whether it be R&R or a Homecoming. We are the ones being the support of our fellow Military Community letting them know we are right there with them every step of the way. We celebrate life and we mourn death. We are the ones in the background trying to just make it through the day. ( I can't speak for my husband or the one who is deployed. I listen to the things he says, he is the one away missing out on everything here and dealing with his own hardships and battles (no pun intended at all there). BUT I can't personally put into words how he or how anyone in that situation feels because I haven't been on that side of the fence)

For me this blog is therapeutic, I love to write, thats me. I have always done so. (ask my parents, I'm sure at some points I drove them crazy) I don't write this blog for anyone in particular except maybe the girls and for my husband so they can have memories to look back on one day. Honestly every time that I write a post I don't expect anyone to even read what I have to say. I appreciate all of you that do take the time to read my words. Can sympathize, can laugh, cry, cheer, and enjoy all the special moments I share. It really does mean the world to me that you (yes you) take the time to read my ramblings. That you want to be apart of our lives. We are just a little family of 4 (soon to be 5) that just love one another so much and find the most joy in being together and having fun. We love to laugh, play, dance around, hang out all day in our pajamas. We don't miss an opportunity to be little kids with our kids. We are big goofballs that are a bit weird but we compliment each other and we know one another better then anyone could know us. Its not something we have to work at because we just love each other and when you love someone so much marriage, friendship, being a parent really shouldn't be work. Yes it can be hard and trying at times but even those moments that are more down then up its a learning experience it shows you where you need to adjust things a little bit or fix the mistakes that you may have made. I am no where near perfect and I am forever trying to make things better with being a parent and wife (as well as daughter, sister, granddaughter, and friend) but isn't that what life is? Everyday we are learning and growing and making ourselves better for the people around us. We do our best and thats all we can do others can either take it or leave it and those people that truly matter take every single little part of you and love you just the same. I'm thankful that I do have those people in my life, they make each day worth living, smiling, they make these deployments a bit easier to deal with and cope when days are rough.

When I say its the little things...Those are the things that make deployments rough. Its hard enough being alone for a year without the person who means everything to you but then put them in a situation where you really have not a single clue how they are doing from day to day. You just wait for that message, phone call, or means of communication that lets you know they are okay. Fine we've got that covered. It sucks we all get that. But its the little things that get me. When I have to tuck my little girls in at night alone and give them double the hugs and kisses because the person who is there by my side every single night doing it with me isn't there gets to me. Something as simple as giving them a bath and wanting to walk in and see a complete disaster not because they did something but rather daddy decided to fill the bath with a half a container of bubble bath, or he is sitting there right beside them splashing away. Putting them in the car alone, its nice having that extra set of hands helping out, or even just having him here to drive where ever we may be going. Its somebody to sit at the table at night and yell at the girls because they rather play with their food and blow bubbles in their drink. Its the littlest thing as seeing those god damn boots, pts, acus/multicam, rolled up socks, nasty tan t-shirts thrown all over the house. Most of all its the smallest thing as getting your own kiss goodnight and being able to sleep in peace knowing that your entire family is under one roof safe and you can sleep at ease knowing where each of them are. Its having someone to go the "special doctor appointments with". Or watching our daughters grow, I HATE having to catch it on video or get a picture, trying to remember every single little detail so I can tell him later. I just want him here to experience it all for himself.

BUT...

The best part? I could never change a thing. I have gained a new appreciation for life and day to day moments. The silliest things that sometimes shouldn't be important I now and again find myself clinging too. I treasure my family and friends so much more. I don't take for granted the impact a video or a picture can have. I still sit down and write letters, the letters I have received from my husband are some of my most treasured items. I take the time to appreciate the smallest thing because he isn't here to enjoy it and I want to make sure that I make the absolute most of something for him as well. I am so thankful for our life and love the ups, the downs, the in betweens. It just keeps getting better and I never want it to end, regardless of the path we may end up on I know we will be just fine because we have each other, our children, families, and friends.