Lend Me Motivation

I really need to find the motivation to start cleaning. Everywhere I look I see something that needs to be picked up or cleaned off. I just have no desire to do any of it. I have been telling myself to start cleaning since 0830 this morning and I have only managed to put my sheets into the wash and put a couple of cups into the dishwasher. Not getting far at all. These are the days where I could just come hire someone to clean my house for the day and not even really clean but rather pick up and do all the monotonous things I have to do on a daily basis. Ugh and I have like 5 baskets of clean clothes to put away its all clean but honestly I HATE folding and putting it all away. :/ I usually do as each load is done but then I wasn't able to go up and downstairs and it started to pile up. I just hate cleaning especially since the girls constantly destroy everything they touch and the cycle starts all over again. Obviously if you can't tell I hate cleaning so very much but I think more then anything I just hate this house and cannot wait to move out of it. Hate it hate it hate it!

On the upside I did get my 1st mile run of the day in today and ran it in 10:50 thats 25 seconds off my time from Wednesday. I'm very proud of myself and will be running again before bed. I feel so good afterwards even though I'm dying during telling myself that I can't quit and that 11 minutes is very little time to be on the treadmill so just suck it up and get it over with. And then I'm done, I'm proud of myself and its just another step to losing weight and getting my body back to where I want it to be. I have 2 months and 1 day until Billy comes home and that is more then enough time to get my body back to where I want it to be. Tonight when I talk to my amazing husband I'm going to talk to him about buying the Insanity 60 day program. So doing that, running, then I have completely changed my diet. I have cut out all sweets, pops/energy drinks, processed food, and sticking to an extremely healthy diet. I will be 6 weeks post-op on Tuesday and thats when I'm "supposed" to be fully cleared but a few days early isn't going to do anything. I do have a "before picture" but I think I will hold off on showing it until I have my after picture as well. 62 days until the transformation will be revealed.

I got to talk to Billy for 15 minutes last night. He says it just sucks, that he is tired already and all they do is yell at them. This is the biggest class ever and they have to do some crazy stuff to accommodate them and instead of the barracks they should be in they are in a crappy one without the amenities they should have. (including internet) So for now its just using our phones to talk. I haven't heard from him at all today and he said it wouldn't be until 8-9pm or so. ( He is 2 hours ahead) I hope things start to get better for him and things smooth out. Apparently a lot of people have already failed just in the 1st day. He said the school has like a 50% pass/fail rate. I have all faith in the world in him and passing. I just wish there was a fast forward button because we are all ready for him to be home. Nevaeh keeps asking if its time for daddy to come home, and will he be home soon. She actually just asked me if we could call him on the computer (skype) but like I said with the lack of internet there its not possible. So she will just have to settle for talking to him on the phone later when he calls. I knew she was going to have a rough time with him being gone and she keeps asking how many more days (she usually says 5 more days until he is home?) so I guess that means we have to sit down and make another Daddy Chain to countdown to picking him up from the airport. Also to find activities to keep both the girls busy. Thankfully the weather is getting warmer again so we can go on walks and to the park. We will do that after dinner that way it passes time wears them out and they go straight into the bath then relax for a bit before they go to bed. Almost 3 days down...Trying to be optimistic but honestly its starting off extremely slow. I wish I had some type of days to look forward to. Usually about now I would say my birthday (Oct. 15) but it looks like its just going to be the girls and I this year. The last few years my parents have been amazing and come through and been there they actually haven't missed one in the last 3 years (thank you mom and dad) Billy on the other hand has only been around to celebrate my 23rd birthday. 22nd he was in Iraq, 24th he was in Texas doing a funeral, 25th Afghanistan, now 26th at drill school. Sigh the life of the Army but in all actuality I much rather him here for more important days anyway like the girls birthday, thanksgiving, christmas. Next year though its "my year" lol.
But as I was saying I don't have any significant events to countdown to make things go faster like I usually have with a deployment. So its just taking a day at a time and just making the most out of these 2 months.

I will get my motivation back (eventually) and at the same time the days will pass by. This never gets easier and honestly I think it gets harder but the girls keep me extremely busy and the motivation to workout and know that there is so much to look forward to when he does return is exciting.

I suppose I will stop procrastinating on here and at least throw my sheets into the dryer...

I'm Back!

Well its definitely been longer then planned for me to stay away from writing here. But, then again once in a while life gets in the way and there are other priorities that become far more important. And lets recap on those things...

1. Billy came home from Afghanistan (thank goodness)

2. Little Miss Lexie Carson was born (8/07/12)

So life has been extremely busy from us reconnecting as a family and then adding another member. It has been amazing (almost) 4 months. I'm not even sure how to put into words how fantastic its been. I felt complete and whole again with having Billy home and safe. The girls are (were) so very happy to have daddy home. I use past tense because unfortunately this morning we had to drop Billy off at the airport so he could head to drill school in South Carolina (Ft. Jackson). It sucks because it feels as though we just got him home for him to turn around and leave for 9 weeks. Its especially hard for me because my body is still getting back to normal as far as having Lexie so I'm still quite emotional and sensitive about a lot of things. And Lexie is only 5 weeks old (as of yesterday) so for her daddy to turn around and leave as such a early stage of her life really hits me hard. Now I get to do it all on my own again and this time its with 3 instead of 2. But like I was saying life is great we have had so much fun lately and both girls are growing like crazy. Everyday is something new with them. Billy and I are constantly on our toes and always laughing at their silly antics. I really don't know where to begin with them, I suppose I will have to really think about it and get back to them. The one thing that I do know is they are the sunshine to my life and bring complete happiness and joy. They are the best big sisters so loving, caring, and just plain excited about having Lexie in their lives. So very thankful that it was such an easy, smooth transition and we have had zero issues (except for the fact they may be a little to helpful in the picking her up department and we are working on trying to get them to understand that even though Lexie may be small like their dolls she can't be picked up and moved around like them).

We really have it good right now minus the fact that Billy is gone. But we just keep telling one another that its just the first step towards a new chapter in our family. We are extremely excited but to be honest hating the fact that he had to leave for so long already. The girls and I are very supportive and proud of him no matter what may happen along the way. We will be counting down until he is home thats for sure!

Lexie is the last puzzle piece in our family and she really does make us complete. She is such a good baby and so easy to take care of. Very thankful for that. She is such a combination of looks from all 4 of us really. Now to just watch her grow and see her personality take shape. Thank goodness she has to awesome big sisters to watch, learn, and grow with!

Our life is a constant ever changing journey. It has its ups, downs and in between moments. It is always harder when I have to do it all alone but with all the love and support from my husband (family & friends) it does make it a lot more easier. There are so many adventures, memories, and special moments ahead and I am looking forward to sharing more of our journey with everyone.

xo,

Danyelle