Just because I can

I haven't really taken any pictures of myself besides my belly..So what the hell. The most recent picture of me with my bump. :0) 16 weeks 3 days and looking pretty darn good if I do say so myself. This pregnancy is a breeze compared to the other two. We shall see though once I hit 32 weeks I'm terrified I am going to have a Makenna repeat with all the contractions and I would LOVE to not have to deal with L&D every other week and I could do without the trebutaline shots!

I cannot wait to William Alfred is home and he can be apart of all of this...SO SO SO soon and I am thrilled about that. The girls and I are definitely counting down the days and without a doubt thankful its finally MARCH! Bring on Michigan, Nevaeh's Birthday, Finding out what this baby is going to be...And by that time it will be April. :)

Happy Days here. The girls and I had a movie date to see The Lorax and they LOVED it. Perfect mommy daughter(s) day. We then went to Target got some yummy food for the next couple weeks before we leave then they came back and played in the snow for a few minutes. And they didn't have a nap so I HOPE that means no waking up through the night. I could use some solid sleep. And Nevaeh is trying out the alarm clock for the first time so we will see if she understand the concept. She picked it out herself and it changes colors. (SUPER CUTE) I want it for my room. lol

Now the day would be even better if I could hear from a certain someone. 3 days and counting without a word. Sucks! Fingers crossed that in the VERY near future I will. WAF I love you! :)

I hope everyone lease is having a wonderful weekend because without a doubt the girls and I are having a fantastic start to ours.

Very Little Patience

Ay yi yi! I swear my patience with Nevaeh has been diminishing daily. I know she is only turning 3 but the little things that she has been doing lately to act out is starting to drive me insane! She is turning into a whiney bratty spoiled little girl and I cannot take it anymore. I know a lot of it is my doing but I think for the most part I don't let her getaway with much.

I know that the majority of it has to do with the fact that her daddy isn't here either but honestly it needs to end...SOON!

She is mean to her sister once again I know its the age. But she knows better to hit and push. She will get a time out and I will turn around and she is doing it all over again.

She is now telling me "no" when I ask her nicely to go do something. Yeah that doesn't go over real well.

She cries constantly! OMG WHYYYY?! (Same with Makenna they have become ultra sensitive to EVERYTHING!) She pouts and throws tantrums and runs into a different room.

She constantly thinks that she deserves a "treat". When she knows that the only time she gets one is IF and ONLY IF she finishes all of her dinner. No Nevaeh you don't get a treat for eating your breakfast or lunch. You may get one when you have behaved well or just because I love you and think you deserve one. Not because you think you need one. And when I say 1 treat that only means 1.

I am OVER her making bedtime difficult every single night. Or her waking up 50 billion times through the night. Or her screaming bloody murder because one of her stuffed animals fell off the bed and she refuses to get out of bed and grab it herself. Or if she does get out of bed and is standing at the bottom of the stairs and I tell her to go get back in bed she runs back screaming and has a meltdown because she got out of bed and refuses to fix her blankets when she can do it just fine herself.

UGH I am frustrated that she REFUSES to poop on the potty. She has had maybe 1 pee accident in like 2 months. And she waits until she gets her pull-up on during nap and bedtime to conveniently go. When she literally just got off the potty before we put it on. Its like routine. And I can't even just leave her in her underwear because she will poop in those or fall asleep and wet the bed. And the last thing I want to be doing in the middle of the night is cleaning that nightmare of a mess. I have even told her she would receive a reward if she started going on the potty. Yep doesn't even phase her anymore.

And the fact that babies sleep better then both the girls makes me want to rip my hair out. WHY do they wake up so much during the night? It doesn't matter if they nap early, nap late, stay up late, don't nap, run around like crazy all day. Its guaranteed Makenna will wake up and Nevaeh will too. Not to mention Nevaeh thinks that she can just come upstairs and get in bed with me..Um no you have your own bed. And why she thinks that 6am is a good time to wake up I have no clue. Or then she is up in bed with me watching cartoons she has to talk to me every 10 minutes or has to ask me something. Ugh I know she is only 3 and I should understand but I am tired (overly tired) and when its the exact same thing EVERY.SINGLE.DAY!

And if its not the girls its the damn animals. I am a slave to the 4 of them. I am pretty sure I am going crazy. And no the answer isn't getting away for a couple hours because I will still come back to the madness. I need my husband home to help and I need more then a day to get away I need a week+ of relaxation not having to think, change a diaper, wash somebodies clothes, make every single meal, clean up toys...etc. I just need a break, everyone is entitled to a break. Hell people who physically go into a job even get a vacation. So how do I not deserve one as well? 3 years and I have yet to have a break over a day. (thanks mom and dad for that) I am more then ready and that is my only real request before this next baby comes I need a break!!

I know these are little trivial things but at the end of a day they start to add up. And when you are the only one taking care of them it gets pretty damn exhausting. Being a parent isn't an easy job, raising multiple children, and having to do EVERYTHING alone plain sucks. I don't enjoy it and never will enjoy taking on every single responsibility alone. I just suck it up (most days) but I think everyone deserves their vents whenever they may need them. Judge if you want but honestly I don't care.

Now to go sit down and enjoy a few minutes of peace before I go to bed. I know in a couple hours one of them will be up...

And yes Makenna is in a stage too its not just Nevaeh but Nevaeh just happened to be the one that tipped the scale tonight...

I love my girls more then anything and I do everything and anything to make sure they are properly taken care of and happy. But that doesn't mean I don't have my overwhelming moments. And it doesn't mean I love them any less because I have these moments. They are the greatest thing to ever happen to me besides my husband. So don't get it all twisted!!

Happy Moments

The last few days have been amazing. I have been able to see my husbands face and listen to his voice. We have been able to laugh and joke and for a little while be "normal". Its refreshing and rejuvenating to be able to talk to him. It lifts my spirits and overall makes me so extremely happy. I wish there was a better way to describe it. For a little while a weight is lifted off my shoulders and I am able to spend that entire day replaying the conversation over and over in my head. The image of him stays imprinted in my brain and I find myself smiling over and over again.

I'm very excited to FINALLY have a countdown until he comes home. And know that its really close. Just these next couple months to get through and I am beyond thankful that we have Michigan in 16 days that is HUGE!! Such a big break and something to take our minds of things and make time go by. I can start planning for the summer, the baby, family time, special getaways for the two of us and know that I don't have a long time to wait. I am ready to get our life started again. Gives me butterflies just thinking about it. So much to do to get ready for him to come home we will definitely be staying busy getting ready for it. Nevaeh has her "Daddy To Do List" already a mile long. She will be keeping him extra busy and I know Makenna will be pulling his hand dragging him along as well.

Today I am 16 weeks pregnant and I know that I am already starting to move slower. Carrying the girls up and down the stairs is extremely exhausting and I am always out of breath after doing so. I am not as exhausted during the day but by the time 630pm hits I am looking at the lock saying is it bedtime yet? My appetite is insane I am constantly hungry but still have no real desire to eat. Except potatoes, ketchup and taco bell (with fire sauce). Although I did eat like 10 strawberries in like 2 minutes this afternoon. So maybe another craving? Thankful all my clothes still fit as of now. I know I am going to have to make a small shopping excursion probably before Michigan to get a few things because I notice each week the belly is a bit bigger. The girls are excited about the baby which I am very happy about. Nevaeh is constantly asking about him/her and Makenna likes to give my belly kisses and say "baby". I am truly lucky to have the most wonderful little girls and most perfect husband.

I must say though that every time after I am finished skyping with Billy that I miss him even more. I am thankful for the time we get but its one of those moments where I don't ever want to say goodbye and no time is ever long enough. I get to spend time with my husband for a little bit but then we go back to living to different lives. And all the laughing, smiling, and talking about anything and everything makes me want him home just that much more. I just have to keep telling myself not much longer!

I know this post is completely random. It was mainly just an update. All 5 of us are doing well. The girls are growing every single day, crazy as ever. F3 is healthy and growing. Billy had a few days of relaxation and is moving to a new location where hopefully we will have better communication (I don't really know, and I won't know until he actually gets there). He said that he would get a hold of me tomorrow if there is access. Then he starts working again. But once again very thankful for the last few days.

What a life we live right now....

Thank you Nevaeh Faith

Its amazing the insight of a 3 year old can have. We were walking home from the park yesterday all 3 of us we holding hands because we were crossing the street and Nevaeh just randomly looks up at me and say's Mommy "You're a good mom." Then gave my hand 3 kisses. Its crazy how something that simple can have that much of an impact. To be honest this pregnancy and deployment these last couple months if you couldn't already tell have been rough. And I at times question myself as a parent just because I don't feel as though I'm playing with them enough, cooking enough, and giving them enough attention just because this pregnancy has left me sucked of any energy. And it doesn't help that the weather just sucks in general and they both absolutely love to be outside. I do make sure on the days where the weather is warm enough to make sure to get outside. But I think we all have a bit of cabin fever from being in a lot of time. So when I am questioning myself and how well I'm doing it really lifts me up and makes me realize that everything is okay because the 2 little ones that matter most right now are happy and content. And the fact that Nevaeh told me so is really all that really matters.

These moments make me appreciative that I have such an amazing mom and dad. Who have done nothing but support me and my family. They have always been there for the biggest milestones and moments. And really have picked up in the spots where Billy can't be there for. My mom was there holding my hand through the birth of Nevaeh. She would have been there for Makenna's but Makenna had her own plans and decided she much rather greet her grandma when she arrives. :) They have yet to miss a birthday for either girl and have even made it here for I believe the last 2-3 of my birthdays. They are right there skyping along as the girls are opening their Christmas presents. My dad is always calling saying "hey we are flying out to visit these days" or "we really want you guys to come visit here are plane tickets". They don't do it because they feel as though they have to but rather because they want to. And who is really going to pass up a free plane ticket to see the best people ever? And the people that the girls absolutely adore? From the beginning of my life they have always played a large supporting role in my life. And that hasn't changed at all it may be more of a backseat role where they offer the advice when I come to them. They aren't overbearing and don't try to run my life or push what they think is best on any of us. They are just there when we need them. I couldn't be more appreciative for that. They are exactly the type of parent I hope that I am now and the type I hope that I am later in life.

My brother and I are truly lucky to have them as parents. Of course each family has their ups and downs and rough moments. But there has never been a moment of doubt on whether or not if we love each other or would be there for one another. I have seen my fair share of crazy and I'm thankful extremely thankful that I don't have to worry about that. And I'm thankful to know that at anytime I can call them up...they may not answer right away LOL cause lets be real always hit or miss with them answering a phone. ;) But I know they will call back and they will be there to listen and to offer advice on what I should do. There has never been a point where they haven't been a parent or where the roles have reversed. I know that I never have to worry about that and that they will always remain that way. Of course as time goes on they will always be a parent but its nice to know that I can consider them a best friend as well.

And really what more could a daughter or even a son ask for? Caring, loving, supporting, parents who want to be involved in our lives. But aren't overbearing, pushy, or act inappropriately? They have set an amazing example to follow and I'm thankful that I do have positive role models as parents to maybe not take every single example but I can take majority of the things they have taught me and use.

Hopefully one day the girls and yet to be determined, can be able to say the same thing. And I will have the same relationship with them that I have with my parents now. I will say that I was then a successful parent.

Mom and Dad I love you and thank you for all the love and support not just for me but for Billy and the girls as well. We all think the world of you and love all the time we get to spend together may it be in person, by phone, or via Skype.

Less then 3 weeks and we will be on our way to spend some more amazing time together!

And thank you Nevaeh Faith for lifting my spirits and letting me now that I'm doing a good job. It helped me more then words will ever be able to describe and don't worry when you are older and in your teen, I will remind you that once you thought I was a good mom!

Saturday.

Today the girls and I have a few errands to run then I think since its supposed to be 60 after nap time we will go to the park. Even though Nevaeh just informed me she doesn't want to go to the park. She is ready to go to the airport to go to Grandma and Grandpa's house. She asks me a billion times a day if its time to go and then she informs me the things she will be packing in her suitcase then asks Makenna what she is going to bring. Apparently blankets and teddy bears are the essentials for the trip. :)

A couple days ago the girls and I were extremely lucky and had a Skype date with the daddy! After not seeing him in over a month and a half it was probably the best day since he left. Even though the 30 minutes always seems to fly by. It was great to catch up, laugh, and just be able to see one another. The girls were beyond excited to be talking to daddy. What a great moment it just sucks that they are such few and far between these days. But good news we received a stop mail date! No more mail is to be sent after March 15th! What a great thing considering that is less then 3 weeks from now. Good thing we just sent packages off and they should be arriving in the near future. Hopefully they make them to him soon, he is moving to another location again actually today I believe. But first he is making a stop for a 4 day 3 night "vacation". Well at least I think he still is. He sent me a message last night saying they had to finish up some things where he was then they would be leaving possibly later. Who knows? I guess I won't until I hear from him again and I have no idea when that will be.

Rather disappointed about Michigan's availability to have 3d/4d ultrasounds done. It sucks because most of the hospitals offer them just apart of the ultrasound process. Here they have tons of places you can go to have it done since the military doesn't offer them. I really wanted to go and have my parents be apart of it. But there is only 1 place and the package they offer really isn't worth the money. So I am contemplating scheduling a place here BUT having the tech put the results of what we are having in an envelope and not telling me that way when I get to talk to Billy next I can open it with him via phone or Skype. Then I can surprise everyone with the results while we are in Michigan...Decisions, decisions. The joys of being alone and pregnant, the things you have to do alone. And trying to make sure your husband is apart of everything as much as possible and doesn't make it any easier when you barely even get to talk. Makes life stressful in all aspects. Way too much thinking and deciding having to be done on my part not on just behalf of myself but him as well.

My doctors appointment went well yesterday, so thats a plus. My blood pressure was normal, thank goodness. (121/76) The crazy midwife was "concerned" because I hadn't even gained a single pound. She even made me sit there and tell her everything that I have been eating for the past 3 days she was shocked when I told her I don't drink milk. Sorry lady but its a pretty common thing. I do eat yogurt daily and other dairy products. I take tums with calcium regularly, calcium enriched orange juice. So its not like I'm not getting any calcium so back off. Then she was trying to push these mommy and me type groups on me. Sorry I have been here for 3 years I am more then capable of making my own friends nor do I have any interest sitting with a bunch of other pregnant ladies and their children. Thanks but when I tell you I'm not interested that doesn't mean you keep telling me about it. I hate when anyone acts like this is my first pregnancy and that I am completely clueless. Needless to say when she gave me a slip of paper with her name telling me to schedule another appointment with her. Um no I have the choice of choosing who I want to see again and it certainly won't be you. I much rather see my doctor who understands my wishes and respects them.

So I'm definitely thankful for the treadmill. It really helps burn off the stress or any bad moments I am having. Putting music on and just going. Probably one of the best investments we have made in a while. I will definitely be using it in a little while.

Blah random post, I think I am just procrastinating from getting ready. I hate getting myself ready and then the girls I swear it takes so much time. Okay done just sitting here...Off to get ready so we can get back.

I hope everyone has a great Saturday. We should have a decent one. Maybe i'll even surprise Nevaeh with chicken noodle soup (really its broccoli cheddar from panera bread) its her new favorite thing.

xo

The things I hate the most!

Do you ever feel the need to vent? But can't even put into words you want to vent about? Maybe its because I'm overly tired and just over things today so I am a bit more crabby and more irritated then usual. Most days I'm fantastic laughing and having fun with the girls but today everything is getting to me today. Hopefully when it gets to be afternoon and the temp goes up a bit the park with the girls will clear me of my horrible mood. So a list of my annoyances today:

1. Colorado Drivers- I have meant to complain about this but keep forgetting. I swear I have never had road rage until living here. Colorado has the world's worst drivers and if we could just run into the people who pull out in front of you making you slam on your breaks I wouldn't even think twice about it. They don't know how to merge, can't read speed signs, when a light is green it means to break through it. The left lane on the highway is obviously drive whatever speed you want even though there are specific signs all up and down the highway saying keep right left lane is meant for passing. Instead you have 3 lanes of traffic and 3 cars driving 55 all in a row. Or you have the morons who ride your ass thinking its your fault traffic is slow you finally get past the slow morons and they speed off going 100. Cause thats as safe as the idiots who drive too slow. People don't know what blinkers are here either. And one of the biggest things that piss me off why in the hell are you going to cut in front of me when there is not a single person behind me but you choose to cut into the space where there is barely even a car length between the car in front of me causing me to slam on my breaks and yes I will be swearing up a storm at you and using my horn. So its pretty simple drive the actual speed limit, pay attention and know when the right time to come over into another lane, use your blinker, and for the love of god keep right if you are going to drive 50 on the highway there are some of us who have places to go and would like to get there at a decent time. Oh and lastly you live in freaking COLORADO you should know how to drive in snow!!! Riding your break, driving 30, and riding the person's ass in front of you seriously and people wonder why there are multiple accidents every single day in this damn city....Colorado Drivers you all suck and need to go back to driving school.

2. I hate people- That doesn't mean everyone. There are quite a few people that I love and appreciate more then anything. The people I hate are the ones who think they are entitled to everything, that the world revolves around them, and that we all owe them everything. I hate people who make tons of excuses for their "problems" but don't get off their asses and fix them rather complain. Also people who ask for advice you give it to them and then they completely disregard everything you have said, why ask for advice if you already know what you are going to do in the first place? Please, don't waste my time. I hate people who think just because they read my blog, look at my pictures, or see what on my Facebook they all of sudden know everything about me, my husband, and our daughters. Yes I do tell a lot but that doesn't mean you know me as a person in the least bit. Take what I write but then if you are going to form an opinion or think you have any right to even talk about me, you're wrong. Get to know me or my family first then after you actually know us then talk all you want. And to be completely honest if you are going to talk poorly about us how could you possibly think that it wouldn't get back to us? And do you really think we want people like you in our lives? Get real! I hate rude people, sorry I'm in a store with 2 little girls but they do use their manners if they get in your way (on accident), they will say sorry and excuse me and I will as well. So if you are going to get in our way then turn around and glare like its our fault I should let me daughter walk in front of you and zig zag through the store like she does. She isn't even 3 yet and has better manners then you. Also is it really that hard to say "thank you" when me a mother with 2 children in tow hold the door open for you? Sorry next time I'll make sure to let it go in your face. And people wonder why this world sucks so much? Maybe if we were all a little nicer, didn't always think that their way is the only way, and instead of bitching actually took matters into their own hands and were more proactive at figuring things out instead of thinking that someone else should do it for them.

3. I hate cleaning and I hate laundry. The only time I will like them is when my house is clean the laundry is done and I didn't have to do it. Yes somedays I don't mind doing it but every single second of the day get real there are a billion of other things I rather be doing then scrubbing the toilet or folding someone else's underwear. But I do it not because I want to but rather because I can't stand living in a dirty house. Yes it may be messy but lets be real here I have 2 little girls another one on the way, a husband, and 2 animals. Messy is one thing but dirty is a completely different. Yes 80% of the time my floor is going to be sticky sorry I mop constantly but didn't you know the rule that a clean floor is a magnet to a little kid to spill something? After I vacuum I guarantee 20 minutes later you will find crumbs on the floor once again same rule with the mop clean floors bring a mess. Its just a fact of life us mom's have accepted. But don't get that message wrong just because my house may look like this doesn't mean my children and us as parents don't have respect for your house. Its expected for my girls to pick up any toys that they may have been playing with, I will watch them its not your job to babysit, if they make a mess, spill food, or a drink I will be right there with paper towel making sure its all picked up. My children will use manners when you offer them something. And if you have a problem with them coming over just say that versus beating around the bush. Either we can find a babysitter or we can find something better to do then be at your house where my well behaved children aren't welcome. Yes I understand some circumstances a babysitter is better but not always.

4. Last one I honestly hate talking on the phone. Don't take it personal there are only like 3 people I really don't mind talking to Billy, my mom and dad. Really its just difficult for me to talk on the phone with the girls running around, screaming and getting into everything and once again same principle with the clean floors they see a phone at my ear and they think its prime time to come talk to me or ask for something. Send me a message on facebook, email, text I will respond 100x times faster that way. Sometimes a phone call is quicker and easier if its a couple minutes that fine but if you just want to chat I probably won't answer.

Well I must say I am very happy to get that all of my chest. I feel much better. Even though I do complain about the most random things I am so extremely appreciative for those of you in our lives. It really does brighten my day seeing your messages and comments. I am constantly laughing and smiling and it does help so much. I know that I may forget to say thank you or show my appreciation sometimes but I do think it and I mean it when I say we really do have the best support system around. There are so many different things going on in our little world right now and I love all of you there are here to go on the ride with us. So much love to each and every one of you who have been understanding, supportive, and haven't judged us once instead just gave us nothing but love through the ups and downs. Thank you! I promise all of it will be reciprocated and your kindness will pay off in the end.

xoxoxo Danyelle

Love

I love this man more and more everyday.

Its the simple things he does that gets me every single time.

The little things he knows that mean the most to me and that I will always have to look back on.

The moments when we haven't talked in days, I have no clue how he is doing and then that moment we get to talk and he puts up something like this brings me closer to him then ever.

I have looked at this picture over and over today and every single time it makes me smile and think how lucky I am to have such a special man to be my husband.

Little things like this is why I may complain about deployments because the little things he does like this when he is so far away the things that he does at home when he is here are a million times better. I hate being apart but I am so proud and appreciate the scarifies that he makes while he is away.

We talked on the phone for a bit today. It was wonderful to hear his voice and just be able to catch up. He is doing good he will be around for a little bit. Always a great thing cause that means I get to talk to him again. :) Really thats about it. He is well and thats all that really matters!

3 months and counting!

William Alfred

I love you so much.

Always.